Sunday, April 25, 2010

Tunnel Light

They are finally cutting me open.

By "they," I am lumping together the cadre of neurologists, pain management specialists, orthopedists and various and sundry "spine guys" I've seen in the past three months. (Although, to be specific about it, the only one doing any actual cutting will be the surgeon.)

It's amazing how fast "the system" can function once you lose the ability to move something - like your toes. After months of white-coated "we'll sees" and a veritable pharmacy of pills to pop, last week my case suddenly morphed into something urgent, complete with late night MRIs, next-day second opinions and now, Friday, surgery.

I can't wait.

I suppose it's a bit odd to be waiting with baited breath for full anesthesia and a hot date with a scalpel. But, then again, anyone who's been through this (and its truly shocking how many have) can relate to my impatience. I simply can't wait to get my life back.

Of course, it's not like I've done a great job of admitting how compromised my life is now. In classic only-I-would-set-it-up-this-way-style, I have engineered an truly awe-inspiring set of logistical challenges for the next few weeks.

Did I mention we're moving upstate for the summer? And that our original moving date was the day I'm having back surgery? Because someone is moving into our Brooklyn apartment May 1st? Oh, and that my grand plan this summer is to commute from upstate New York - no small stretch mind you? And that hubby is heading overseas for two months, starting at the end of May?And that I, too, am slated to travel to multiple foreign countries for work in June and July? And that, currently, I can barely sit, walk or bend - let alone lift anything heavier than a Vicodin?

Like I said, I can't wait for surgery.

It turns out that, to keep on chugging through my i-can-do-it-all so sometimes i do-too-much, every-moment-is-a-moment-i-should-be-doing-something-useful kind of lifestyle, I need a functioning spinal column. And toes.

But we're working it all out. Even faced with an overwhelming to-do list of hauling, shlepping, and flat packs, even owning up to the reality that I can't do anything remotely helpful or useful for weeks, we're finding the way to get it all done. We are heavily relying on family and friends. We re-signed with the au pair agency, and a lovely young woman moved in last week. Telecommuting is a wonderful thing.

In a few short weeks, half-finished pill bottles and a small scar will be all that remains of this particular saga. That, and the fact that both boys want to be doctors.

Jake, this morning, when asked "what do you want to be when you're big?" replied: "A doctor. I want to be a doctor. Than I can make mommy all better."

Hear hear.

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