Monday, November 24, 2008

Too Big

It's official. Or perhaps the better word is 'inevitable.' I am overcommitted. And it's my own damn fault.

Here's a run down of all the things I've said 'yes' to in the last six months or so:

- A new job (the focus of which is reimagining a business model that's been around for more than 100 years)
- Helping my mother-in-law get the recognition she deserves for her lifes' work (she's a painter:
- Helping to start a non-profit, progressive school in my neighborhood (
- Writing the book proposal for a would-be-best seller with my cohorts LillyParrot and BrooklynChickens
- Hosting Christmas

It's ridiculous. And it's not just the length of the list, it's the SCALE of it.

Someone told me once 'you're attracted to big things.' He is right. I am. I get excited by ideas - and the bigger, the broader, the more far-reaching the idea the better.

But I need to live my life at a human scale. The scale that lets me remember to take vitamins, to not feel guilty if I want to 'waste' a precious hour watching a TV show. The scale that helps ensure I'm not falling down with exhaustion when I'm playing with the boys.

I lose sight of that in the midst of the daily decisions, in the wake of the barrage of my own ideas and the asks of others. I lose sight of the fact that if I say 'yes' to everything - and help everything balloon to the size of its maximum potential - I will not do anything.

('Balloon balloon balloon!' says one twin. 'Boon' agrees his brother)

So, what to do? I know, I know... "Delegate." "Learn to say no." "Prioritize." "Keep things in perspective."

But, on top of that, I might just need to let some things stay small.

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